Women Are Troublesome
by ii kazekage-sama ii
Summary: opposites do attract believe meh!


**Women are Troublesome**

Women.

They're such troublesome creatures.

Especially this one girl, who speaks her mind…I mean, REALLY speaks her mind. It seems she doesn't care what other people think and insulting my best friend was one of them. But, the three of us has always stuck together- Ino, Chouji and I. We weren't just teammates; we had formed a friendship that no one could have guessed. Well, of course our dads grew up together, so we were able to have that time to spend together during the course of our dads' meetings in the bar for some sake. (No, no we didn't have sake, don't worry. Like hell my mom would let me drink alcohol! She would KILL dad!).

I sighed and lifted up my eyes towards the sun. Okay, bad idea because now I think I've gotten blind for a few seconds there…

Slowly, I sat up and looked towards the faces of the previous Hokages. It was really surprising that the first time I ACTUALLY saw Naruto do ANYTHING stupid was the masterpiece he created across the three noses of the three Hokages, not counting the Fourth of course. I had seen him dash down the street, chased by Iruka-sensei, his nose and ears all steamed up and ready to kill. I had to admit, that was the most entertaining thing I've seen since the time my mother chased my father down the street for being such a lazy a**, then followed twelve years later by my mother chasing me down the street for having the same genes as my father.

I don't think she was that pleased at all when I told her that maybe it was SHE who gave me those genes of being lazy since she hasn't done ANY work for the past twelve years of my life. All she EVER did was complain about me and my father. (It was true you know!)

Nope…

She was not pleased at all because five minutes later, I found myself rubbing my butt to get rid of the footprint mark in my right cheek. When Ino found out about this, she laughed out loud and told everyone about my demise.

"Oi! Shikamaru!"

Oh great…speak of the devil.

I looked down below me and noticed Ino staring up at me, waiting for me to come down. "What do you want?" I mumbled, lying back down on the tree branch.

Wrong move…

Because the next thing I knew, I felt the whole tree shaking and as if a string had grabbed hold of my wrists, I landed on my face, smack-dabbed on the ground.

"OOOWWW! WHAT THE HELL, INO?" I yelled, shaking my fist at her. I rubbed my bruised face painfully and glared at her, but she just smiled and walked off.

Okay, THIS behavior confused me. It wasn't because I was CURIOUS, I was just…ANNOYED. Yeah…that's right. Annoyed was the one word that describes me every time I start a conversation with Ino Yamanaka.

Ino and I weren't that close, but we were friends. We acknowledged each other's abilities, because we knew that was what teammates should be. If you were to describe the relationship between Ino and myself, I would say it was in between. We knew we could be friends, we could trust each other, we could talk to each other and rely on each other, but we're not even that close to relating each other's personal secrets. There were some things that both of us kept from each other and we both knew it was for that person's choice to keep it quiet.

Besides, a girl and a guy can't be BEST FRIENDS, right?

"OI! Ino!" Crap, I thought to myself. What is she planning now? Okay, I'm not going to follow her…nope…but what the hell? Why are my legs moving? I curse at myself for being stupid and easy to be manipulated by some chick who can't seem to shut her mouth!

She wasn't answering, so being the stupid moron I was, I followed her and I was lead down the street towards familiar territory…

Her floral shop.

What the hell?

Suddenly, everything went dark. All I remembered was the smell of something oddly familiar…barbecue chips?

s**t… Chouji was in on whatever THIS charade Ino was pulling.

I struggled, trying to pull free of the restraint they were using. It was difficult because if I used too much force, I was afraid I was going to hurt my friends, but…hey what the hell, if they're trying to pull some kind of joke…WHO CARES?

So I did just that… Luckily, the restraint they used felt thin and light so I managed to pull off whatever it was on my head. "Morons…" I mumbled, wiping off the excess dirt off of me. I think they used an empty soil bag on me because damn, now I stink too much of manure.

"SURPRISE!"

The lights turned on and I found myself face to face with at least all of the top squads in Konoha, along with the late Hokage-sama. I stared at them all and noticed Ino and Chouji standing in front of me, grinning from ear to ear.

"Happy birthday, Shikamaru!" Chouji exclaimed, grabbing a bag of chips from out of nowhere and starts eating it as if he had finalized his words and knew he was finished with his job.

So, I guess this is some kind of birthday surprise, huh? Well, time to turn around and walk off. But dammit, I felt a grip around the back collar of my shirt and I was forced to turn back around. I wasn't surprised however, when I found out the one who grabbed my shirt and practically yanked me backwards was the blond chick named Yamanaka Ino. "Where do you think you're going?" she said, sounding as if she was my mother. (I shiver at that thought!) "Uggh! You stink, Shikamaru!" Ino yelled, pinching her nose after realizing I stink of manure.

And I noticed in the corner of my eye that Chouji had stopped eating only to hide the manure bag from Ino. I guess I should let it slide for now since it was practically Chouji's fault that I stink like this. Oh well, at least it helped me quite a bit, seeing as how it was putting off Ino.

"Oh well," Ino finally said after hesitating to come near me again. That's right! Keep at that because I sure as hell would be better off rolling over a pile of dung to keep you away from me. "Happy Birthday, Shikamaru!" she exclaimed, leaning over towards me. What? What the hell are you doing? Get away from me!

I closed my eyes, waiting for the moment to come, her lips getting closer by the seconds. Everyone seemed to think that this was some kind of normal thing as they stared and continued to smile. What is wrong with you people? Don't you get it that Ino and I aren't in THAT kind of relationship? HELLO!

Then I felt it…on my cheek…

And the next thing I knew she was backing away and everyone else then started to approach me, patting me on the back or shaking my hand as they handed me their presents. All right, another thing I forgot to mention…I SPECIFICALLY told THESE two (as I stare at Ino and Chouji), that I didn't LIKE birthday surprises.

The last people to greet me were the two whom I dreaded to see, especially with my friends around. My mom and my dad…ah crap!

"Happy birthday, son!" my father said, giving me a hug. He patted my back and pulled away, allowing my mother to approach me and greet me with her own birthday greeting. And here it was…

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY LITTLE BOY!" She wrapped her arms around me and squeezed me like she was about to suffocate me and then began giving me kisses around my face.

"Uggh! MOM! QUIT THAT!" I pulled away from her quickly and frowned, wiping the lipstick that had begun its mark around my face. "That's embarrassing! Mataku!"

Everyone laughed (with Naruto being the loudest of them all).

"What, are you ashamed of your mother?" my mother exclaimed. Okay, here it was again. The water works…what is UP with women and their crying? It wasn't like I did ANYTHING wrong!

"No, I'm not ashamed of you…what you're doing IS shameful!" I replied, looking away. Then, seconds later, I felt another hug coming from behind and I was squeezed in between my mother's breasts like no tomorrow. Okay, I give up…

"Awww I KNEW you loved those kisses! Here let me show you some more!"

"NO!" I slid from her arms and ran behind Ino. "What the hell were you thinking inviting them here?" I whispered to Ino, relieved that both my mother and father had retreated somewhere else to chat amongst my friends.

"They're YOUR parents! It wasn't right NOT to invite them," Ino whispered back, facing me after I have straightened up.

"And I TOLD you that I didn't WANT surprise parties! Did that statement EVER get through your thick little brain…?"

Ino stared at me blankly and finally shook her head. "Nope." She shrugged and walked off, much to my annoyance and glared at her as she announced to everyone that there were snacks prepared at the very back of the store. Seconds later, she was approaching me and picked up the presents I received from everyone and began putting them aside.

"What are you doing?" I mumbled, frowning.

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm putting away your presents."

"I told you I didn't want presents either ESPECIALLY parties…"

Ino stopped, carrying two large presents in her arms and turned to face me. "And why not? You're fifteen now, don't you think it's a good idea to be celebrating such a blessed year with your friends and family?"

"I'm not fifteen yet and…" I snorted…blessed year? "Blessed year?" I said out loud. "Girly, the thought of calling my life a blessed year is like acid on my tongue. For the most part, being fifteen isn't all that blessed. Turning a year older is like throwing a part of your younger self away."

"Oohhhh," Ino snickered, putting down the two large presents down on the floor near the counter. "So is THAT what you're worried about? And I thought only women were worried about their age?"

"What?" I lifted up a curious eyebrow at her. "Are you implying something?"

The blond girl continued to laugh at me. "I mean, is that all? I thought it was something like…you have the childhood fear for clowns during birthday parties?" She approached me and patted my back. "It's all right…we all have fears." And she left me with that same look I always give her every time I saw her as she left to put away the gifts for later…annoyed.  
...Four hours later...

Midnight had arrived…thankfully and I was beginning to think that this wasn't such a bad idea. If everyone had stayed longer, I probably would've enjoyed the party. Not ENTIRELY, mind you, I WOULD'VE…meaning not REALLY and 'would've' meant- oh hell nevermind! I don't need to explain it to you people!

So here I was waiting for the last person to leave, which was of course Naruto and Kakashi-sensei. Who went on and on about how he had an awful time at the party…I mean yeah because Naruto was practically DRUNK even before midnight hit. Really, Kakashi-sensei…did you have to make him drink that much? Sakura wasn't all that impressed with Naruto and Kakashi, so she went on ahead without them and left the two, leaving Kakashi to lead Naruto home.

"So, what did you think?" Ino asked as soon as the door closed behind Naruto and Kakashi-sensei.

I wanted to say, first of all I didn't have a great time because I didn't WANT a surprise party in the first place. Secondly, thanks to Chouji, I stunk the whole night of manure from the bag he used to cover my eyes and thirdly…you just HAD to send a clown when you KNEW I hated them! But…nothing came out. I mumbled a regrettable, 'it was great,' before picking up the presents one by one in my arms.

"Here, let me help you with that…" She leaned down and grabbed the other presents from the floor. I led the way outside and waited until I could hear keys jangling in her hands and the sound of a key being inserted into the lock. "You know," Ino suddenly said, after putting the keys back in her pocket and picked up the presents again. "You didn't have to lie to me…I KNOW you had a great time!" The blond girl grinned at me.

What the hell did she just say? That's bull! She thinks I had a great time? Okay, tell her Shikamaru! DAMMIT! You're not just going to let her get away with that crap! I shrugged, but said nothing. WIMP, I said out loud to myself.

It was a good thing the travel from the floral shop to my house didn't take that long. Beside me, as I stopped in front of the door, I heard Ino sigh. Curious, I turned to look at her. "What?"

"If you're SO worried about getting older, how about I do something for you?"

I stared at her as I twisted the door open. "What the hell are you going to do?" I was getting suspicious by Ino's behavior today. Where did she ever get the idea to throw a surprise party for me? And why is she suddenly hoping to make me feel better by doing something NICE for me? Where is this all coming from?

The blond shrugged. "I don't know. I'll figure something out, so I'll come by early tomorrow morning and by then I would already have something planned out."

I didn't like the sound of that…plus-early in the morning? I grumbled, "You know I'm not a morning person, Ino."

Ino planted her hands on her hips. "Well, I guess you'll have to change THAT habit! Here…" She stuffed the other two boxes on top of what I had in my arms and said good night, before leaving me alone with the boxes. I watched her, still quite confused with the way she was acting, forgetting the fact that the presents were heavy in my arms and stumbled inside.

Okay…what universe did I wake up in this morning?  
Morning HAD arrived…I was OFFICIALLY fifteen. Another year older…yippee….

I could hear the crow crowing, the birds chirping and the sound of someone throwing pebbles at my window…eh? I opened one eye slowly and turned my head lazily towards the window. Indeed…there WERE small pebbles being thrown at my window. Who on earth-?

Groaning, I sat up and opened the window slowly.

PLUNK!

"OW!" I yelled, rubbing the forehead that made contact with a larger pebble that made it through the window. "What the hell?" I was still trying to focus my tired eyes at the perpetrator below.

"Gomen, Shikamaru!" I easily recognized Ino's voice.

"What the hell, Ino?" I only realized it wasn't morning yet…it was ALMOST morning, but it wasn't THAT time yet.

"Good morning! I had to find a way to wake you up!" Ino yelled back. "Be down in a few minutes, because I'm taking you somewhere!"

"What?" I frowned. "Do you have ANY idea what time it is?"

The blond nodded. "Of course I do! It's morning!"

Her voice was annoying enough to give me a morning headache. Okay, remind me to kill her once this day is over. "This is not morning…it's dawn. Look, the sun is BARELY out yet!"

Ino sighed. "Of course it is! Now, get down here or else I'll drag you out of bed myself!"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming down…" I mumbled, slowly getting out of bed. She was sounding like my mother everyday, it was troublesome!

Slowly, and for the sake of annoying the hell out of Ino, I took turtle steps down the stairs, pass the kitchen and out the front door. Ino was standing by the front door, ready to drag me out of bed and noticed her sighed in relief when she saw me there.

"What took you so long?" she spoke, veins ready to pop out from all sides of her head. Well, at least that made me feel better. Her anger was always the best part to amuse myself when I'm bored or just for the hell of it. Plus, I thought it was cute when she got angry…WOAH! HOLD UP! Where did THAT come from? Okay, ignore, ignore…

"So, where are we going again?" I looked around, fully aware that the sound of our feet scrunching against the gravel was the only thing I could hear in the dead morning of Konoha. I occasionally saw certain people throwing away their garbage in their front yards, ready for pickup this afternoon. I would glance at them, nod at those whom I knew very well and would continue on my walk with Ino.

Ino didn't reply until we made it at the very end of Konoha, standing just below the faces of the previous Hokages, the monument standing high and proud, overlooking the village. She had her back towards me, her hands clasped behind her and she was looking up at the sky, thinking.

"Uh….Ino?" I called, reaching over to tap her on the shoulder, but I suddenly stopped, suddenly withdrawing my hand away. I decided to watch her and wait for her to turn around, but at that moment, I just stared at her back, watching her long blond hair float with the wind.

"There he is…" Curiously, I continued to watch her, a smile spreading across her face. Who was he? I asked myself, instead of towards her and looked up to where she was staring at. A scaffold was descending slowly towards us from above, a man staring down at us with a wide grin on his face.

"Ah! Hello, Shikamaru!" he greeted, once the scaffold landed.

It was Iruka-sensei. "Iruka-sensei? What are you doing here?" NOW I was a lot more curious than before…before I stepped out of my house earlier. I stared at him, that stupid grin still marking his face. I've often wondered why he was called 'Iruka,' and now I was beginning to suspect the answer just by looking at him.

"Shikamaru!" I blinked and turned to look at Ino, who was now standing on the scaffold. What the hell was going on? I was so preoccupied with Iruka-sensei's grin that I hadn't seen the blond girl move towards the scaffold. "Come on here," Ino said, smiling at me.

"Why?"

"Just because…" I was startled when I felt a huge force pushing me forward on the scaffold. Mumbling an annoyed curse, I quickly turned around and noticed Iruka still grinning like an idiot. "You better hang on tight!" He reached over and pulled the string attached to the scaffold, watching as the scaffold slowly ascends. Okay…I hated heights, but I wasn't about to admit that to Iruka-sensei OR Ino (even though she knows already). So, I grabbed on for dear life, while at the same time, trying to keep my cool in this situation. I could hear Ino laughing softly behind me.

"Is there something funny, I should know about?" I asked, turning my head slightly to look at her, afraid that if I keep moving, the scaffold would tilt over and it would be the end of our lives. Sometimes, I have the weirdest imaginations when it came to situations like this one (although I haven't BEEN in one), but it's best that a Chuunin kept his act together and act brave enough so one would know how to THINK in serious situations. I didn't wait for her answer, but instead, I turned back around and looked out towards the sunrise that was peeking from behind the other side of Konoha. Indeed, it was a beauty I had never encountered in my whole life. I never have time to go up a mountain and just sit and watch the beauty that is Konoha, but then again I didn't need to since there was one just next door to my house…I made to look at Ino again, but the scaffold suddenly stopped and I flinched, suddenly forgetting what I had to do before.

"We're here," Ino said quietly, stepping off the scaffold and on to the landing behind me.

I turned around ever so slowly and joined her on the landing. "Why are we here?" I asked, curious even more when Ino walked a few steps on the path and sat down on the fifth-hokage's nose.

She looked at me and smiled, patting a spot beside her. "Come, sit here."

When I was asked to do something by Ino, it sounded more like a command, but I never argued with her about anything. When that occurred, it was always mutual between us. It was either that, or the fact that I was too lazy to protest, but either way, we understood each other. It didn't matter who was right or wrong, just as long as you don't make the situation worse by protesting what the other wishes for you to do. So…I went and sat down beside her.

I stared out at the horizon. I felt odd, really because the last time we did this was five years ago and this was with Chouji. Now…it was just me and her, both fifteen (well close to fifteen…Ino's birthday was tomorrow), silence in the morning. "I'm sorry I don't have a present for you," Ino said after a long silence.

I glanced at her and shrugged. "It doesn't matter."

"Yeah, but every year, we always have something to give each other," she continued, turning her head to look at me. Ino seemed to be lost in thought as I looked into her blue eyes. Behind these eyes, was a world where sometimes I alone could not understand.

I sighed and turned away, realizing that I was beginning to blush just by staring into her eyes after a long time. "Ah, Ino, it's impossible to stick to traditions anyway…" I mumbled, leaning back to rest against the large eyes of the Fifth.

Ino did the same, her hands resting on her stomach. "Well, it's my present to you anyway…"

"What is?"

The blond girl looked at me as if I had said something stupid and frowned. She wasn't just frowning; there was disappointment in her eyes. "Nevermind," she murmured, looking away. "Baka…"

I had heard that and usually when she calls me that, something must be wrong and I normally don't tolerate her calling me an idiot. "What the hell, Ino? You're acting weird and you bring me here and you say some things that don't make sense at all!" This was irritating. I stood up and got ready to leave, when Ino's hand reached up to grasp my ankle. "Let go," I said. But Ino would not let go. "I said let go…" I pursed my lips together and looked down at her.

"No," Ino replied.

"What? Let go you idiot!" I moved my feet away enough so that Ino would at least loosen her grip, but the more I struggled, the more she tightened her hand around me. Damn, the woman was strong!

"I am not letting go until you FIGURE out WHY I brought you here!"

Tch! How troublesome… "Let go…" I repeated, giving her a disappointed look.

Ino shook her head. But this time, I pulled even harder and I could tell Ino was beginning to look nervous. "Hey! BAKA! Stop struggling or we'll both--!"

And there we have it folks…I could feel the ground beneath us shaking. I blinked and Ino quickly stood up, letting go of my ankle and put her arms around my neck, almost choking me. "SHIKAMARU! YOU IDIOT! WHY DID YOU PULL SO HARD?" she screamed at the top of her lungs, close to my ears.

"That's because you wouldn't let go! Don't call me an idiot! And don't yell either!" I screamed back. I think Ino ruined my eardrums. "And who are you calling an idiot when YOU were the one who brought us here?"

"BECAUSE--!" She was interrupted when the ground finally lost its patience and crumbled, losing our balance. I could hear Iruka-sensei yelling to get out, but Ino's screams drowned out what I was trying to hear from the older man.

"DON'T YELL!" I finally screamed as loud as I could. I looked around me, to see if I could grab hold of anything with one hand quickly, while the other, (without realizing it) kept tight around Ino's waist.

"We're gonna die, we're gonna die…" Ino mumbled, as if saying some kind of chant. I rolled my eyes and decided to ignore what she was saying by thinking about how to survive this fall instead. I mean, after all, our lives were more important. I didn't realize it until now that my heart was pounding in fear. You can laugh all you want, but if you were in this situation, you'd be panicking too.

Hm…what do to, what do to…AH! I am SUCH an idiot, why didn't I think of that sooner? We were falling faster and faster now and I looked around quickly to where the sun would hit my shadow…Yes, that's right! You finally get it!

And there it was…I spotted my shadow in a quick moment, but I was quicker and in a haste, I summoned my shadow jutsu, having to completely put my arm around Ino to use both my hands. So, drowning out Ino's continuous screams, I yelled, "Kage mane no jutsu!"

I don't know what happened next, but all I know is that once I found my way back to the living, I opened my eyes and found myself upside down. The ground was only inches away from my head and my arms were completely wrapped around Ino, her arms wrapped around my neck. I looked down, or rather, looked up towards my feet and noticed that my shadow had caught itself around a piece of rock wedged in between larger ones. (A/N think of bungee jumping! LOL So just think of Shikamaru and Ino doing that **razz** ) I slowly looked down at Ino, to see if she was all right and was relieved to see her breathing.

"Are we alive?" Ino said, lifting up her head from my chest.

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, we're alive," I said, sighing. "You can let go now." I quickly let go of her, but her arms were still around my neck, afraid that if she let go, she would just fall to her death. I sighed impatiently. "Just trust me, all right?"

She looked back up at me and gave me that, 'are you sure?' look. Skepticism was marked all over Ino's eyes. However, she slowly let go and found that her feet had reached solid ground. I got down after her, after undoing my technique and straightened up. I could see Iruka-sensei coming towards her, a worried look on his face. "Are you two all right? I'm sorry about that…the construction workers probably didn't put enough clay on to the nose part. I'll have to let them know."

"Okay," I replied, nodding. I looked pass Iruka and watched Ino walking away, but what worried me was the fact that she was limping, although I could tell she was trying to hide it. I shook my head in disbelief. After all we've been through; she's still pretending to be a tough person, when really she's the most vulnerable one if she were to be put in any team…but not because she was a girl.

I stuffed my hands in my pockets and followed her back to her house, keeping my distance as far as I could…just in case she blows up in my face.

I REALLY don't understand women…….

Sighing, I followed her down the stairs and was surprised when she suddenly stopped in front of me, her fists clenched at her side.

"Hey, Shikamaru…"

"Yeah?"

Ino turned around and faced me, her face red.

What the hell?

She was walking up to me now.

My heart was beating.

There was a determined look in her eyes.

She was coming closer and closer and she stopped just enough for her to…what? HEY! I quickly moved away from her, my cheeks burning. Okay, why were they doing that anyway? Did she just-? NO WAY!

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" I yelled. I could still feel her lips against mine. They felt so warm and-! Okay, back up!

Ino frowned. "What do you think I'm doing?" she yelled back, her face redder than before. She looked away. "I…I was kissing you wasn't I? Was it that terrible for you to yell at me like that!"

Terrible?

No, no the worst part was…I enjoyed it! DAMMIT!

"NO! I didn't ASK you to kiss me!" I glared at her, but it was a mistake for me to say those words because all of a sudden, I could see in her eyes that she was hurt.

"I HATE YOU!"

"Wha-? IF YOU HATE ME WHY DID YOU KISS ME?"

"BECAUSE I LIKE YOU!"

I blinked. "WHAT? YOU JUST SAID YOU HATE ME!"

"STOP YELLING! YOU DON'T GET IT!"

"YOU'RE YELLING TOO!"

And we were yelling like that for a good five seconds and in those seconds, we ran out of breath. I was surprised that no one was yelling for us to shut up. I guess they got used to us yelling so much that they got tired of telling us to stop.

We were silent for a bit, before Ino spoke again. "You just don't get it…"

This surprised me, because Ino's voice was a lot quieter when she said those words. What is it that I didn't get? Why can't she just tell me? Is there some kind of sign tattooed on my forehead that I don't get it? I stared at her and watched as she wiped tears from her eyes. Why was it bothering me so much that she was crying?

Right there, all I wanted to do right now was comfort her and whisper to her that everything was going to be all right.

What is WRONG with me? Am I going insane? I think it must have been the fumes from Naruto's 'love potion' he supposedly created for Sakura so she would fall in love with him.

I heard a sniff coming from her. Oh God, was she crying again? Kami-sama, please let her stop.

Eh? What am I doing? Stop moving feet! Stop moving!

And they were…

I walked up to her and wrapped my arms around her. "Just stop crying all right? Mataku!" She felt warm and it felt like I was the one being comforted instead of the other way around. I felt Ino's muscles relax and she gave in to my warmth.

"Shikamaru…baka!" She might have said those words but I knew deep down she was smiling just for me.

Once again, it was silent between us, my arms around her and her face buried in my chest. "Shikamaru?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you carry me home? I have a sprained ankle."

I frowned and let go. "YOU walk on your own. Don't expect me to carry you all the time just because…"

Ino giggled. "Just because what? Just because you feel the same way about me and we can now date?"

I turned around and walked away. Does she expect me to be a gentleman now? MATAKU! WHAT did I just get myself into?


End file.
